Looking back on the past...

There are many things that i loved about this last year. Many included meeting new people and reconnecting with older ones. Growing with others and having to let some go. My highlights of this year are the following,

Moving to Seattle, Traveling to the Caribbean twice, going to Australia, staying connected with my best friend Amy, Having lots of good time with my friend Tony, Meeting bloggers A Rad Homo. The spirit of St. Lewis, and Blair's corner. As well as blogging my life for all to see. Living with the best two friends i could have, Emmy and Garbanzo. Taking up Cooking again. Keeping in Contract with my family. Meeting John of course. Having dogs and a Cat. Now there are things in my life that are sad but i will not forget. The passing of my grandfather, quitting my teaching job, leaving all my friends behind, moving to a whole new state, stop ballroom dancing.

What i look forward to this year are many wonderful things. Getting a job, possibly having a baby, going to disneyland, Keeping up with friends and family, My best friend's wedding, spending my life with John and the family we have, cooking more, being more active(e.i. Ballroom dancing, social in seattle, and running) but most of all, having you read who read and comment on my blog! May this new year bring you all the best!

xoxoxox

Princessa

May....

You New Years be Fabulous!!!

Cairns-The city by the sea. Cheers!!

Cairns is a beautiful city. Full of hotels, restaurants, boats, and lots and lots of water. Just about an hour and half the Great Barrier Reef is there. We took Reef Experience, which is a live aboard boat in which you live on it and snorkel or scuba. There are many things do. Sit in the sun, drink, eat, meet people. We met a nice other couple from Seattle as well, Peter and Jason. They both live on Cap. Hill. Have been together for ten years. They are also from Canada. I did my first night dive. At first i was scared shitless but after a while i got use to it. It felt like i was on an Underwater planet. Plus having John lead the way was so much better than i could do. I did Seven dives and enjoyed each one. The only thing i did not like was the after effect of the rocking of the boat. My sea legs are still rocking! Tonight i will be off to the Opera house bar for New Years Eve 2009-2010. It's a themed party. Disco Wonderland. I am very excited to go and can wait to go back home as well! I miss the states. And i am Extremely tired for all the Asian Tourist! They seem to travel in groups and they also like to take their time while getting on the flights. Oh well, this has been a trip of a lifetime! I have enjoyed my travels!

Cheers,

Derek

Fishes i saw

Great Barrier Reef Turtle

Orangespine Unicorn

Moorish Idol

Teardrop Butterflyfish

Great Barrier Reef Clownfish

Lionfish

Whitetip Reef Shark

Happy New year.

Tonight i will be at the Opera house in Sydney to ring in the new year. I wish you all the best in 2010. May all your goals be met and happiness follow! I love you all!!

Xoxoxox

Derek

I made it through that wilderness...

"Somehow I made it through...."

The Outback. Home to Kangaroo's, Bats. snakes, dingos, emus, and many other animals. But it is home to the Anangu people. Ayer's rock is a scared place to it's people. People often talk rocks or other parts of this place home with them, too careless to know what great wonder this place has to others, I had the pleasure of listening to one native woman there, Rebecca. Tell us the story of the rock. The native tongue can be compared to Japanese. Both have the same sounds but just a lil bit different. It was quite a marvelous place. I felt so honored to be there and learn about the Culture there. It was such a great moment to be there. The local Aṉangu do not climb Uluru because of its great spiritual significance. They request that visitors do not climb the rock, partly due to the path crossing a sacred traditional Dreamtime track, and also due to a sense of responsibility for the safety of visitors to their land. The Aṉangu believe they have a spiritual connection to Uluru, and feel great sadness when a person dies or is injured while climbing. We didn't climb it but we got to watch the rock change colors at sunset! If you need to go anywhere in your life, this is the place!!

Alive

I am alive and well. I am off from Uluru and continuing to Cairns. Life in the outback is rough and fun. I have saw lots and hope one day to Return. The pictures i have are beautiful but due to the sucking of the balls internet. It would take forever to upload them here. So my journey continues.....

Aloha Bitches!

Off I set to see the beautiful World of Hawaii. We all left Seattle at 9:20 am. Five hours later. At 1:30pm Rainbow Island Hawaii. The hot sun, the cool breeze, the sand, the water, and the natives. After getting a bit mixed up at the Airport on where to get the rental car my fathers and I settled off to find our hotel on Wakiki. We are staying in the Outrigger on the beach. It's a marvelous hotel, swimming pool, the beach is down the stairs, restaurants within walking distances. After settling into the hotel. We walked along the beach, stop ate lunch, in which I got a make over, *note the flower in ear and the umbrella*. Walked more along the beach and watched the sunset until we all meet up with my dad's scuba friends that live here. Greg and their other friend Dan at Hula's. Afterwords we went to the Duke statue and took our picture with my papi Derek. We also meet up with papi Derek's friend from high school here. After dinner at duke's (It was really good) We enjoyed our walk back to the hotel and went to sleep. Tomorrow is a busy day!

She is off...

Her bags are packed. She has been waiting now. No more wait, her time has come now. She will be off to Hawaii first. Than Down under she goes. With adventure on her mind. Ambrosia can go where no other schnauzer has gone before!! She will be blogging on her trip. She will take lots and lots of photos and maybe a video! Wish her a safe trip and a fantastic return!

The best is yet to come...

I am already dreaming of my holiday break!!

hurtful...

Am i a bad person... Am i horrible? I think i am shitty!

I kinda hurt my best friend. While down in Portland this past weekend. I Emmy and Garbanzo and the girls. Than it was off to dinner with John's family. But my best friend lives in Hillsboro and i didn't even get to see him. I got a txt from him last night saying "Dude im kinda have feelings. im shocked you didn't even try to see me while you were in hillsboro. then i find myself feeling needy because of the way i feel. than you don't even txt me back anymore. i have decided that i shouldnt care but it still hurts and makes me feel shitty."

I honestly do not know what to say to his. He is my best friend and i have been busy with the upcoming trip. ....

HELP!!!!

If you love balls *giggles*

Than you should try this. You can even make it without the meat if you are not one who eats meat. Just add more veggies to your soup! The baby spinach on top is Fab. It just mixes into the soup! so good and great to eat on these coming up cold winter nights! Enjoy!

For the meatballs:

• 3/4 pound ground chicken
• 1/2 pound chicken sausage, casings removed
• 2/3 cup fresh white bread crumbs
• 2 teaspoons minced garlic (2 cloves)
• 3 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley leaves
• 1/4 cup freshly grated Pecorino Romano
• 1/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan, plus extra for serving
• 3 tablespoons milk
• 1 extra-large egg, lightly beaten
• Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

For the soup:

• 2 tablespoons good olive oil
• 1 cup minced yellow onion
• 1 cup diced carrots (3 carrots), cut into 1/4 inch pieces
• 3/4 cup diced celery (2 stalks), cut into 1/4 inch pieces
• 10 cups homemade chicken stock
• 1/2 cup dry white wine
• 1 cup small pasta such as tubetini or stars
• 1/4 cup minced fresh dill
• 12 ounces baby spinach, washed and trimmed

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

For the meatballs, place the ground chicken, sausage, bread crumbs, garlic, parsley, Pecorino, Parmesan, milk, egg, 1 teaspoon salt, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper in a bowl and combine gently with a fork. With a teaspoon, drop 1 to 1 1/4-inch meatballs onto a sheet pan lined with parchment paper. (You should have about 40 meatballs. They don't have to be perfectly round.) Bake for 30 minutes, until cooked through and lightly browned. Set aside.

In the meantime, for the soup, heat the olive oil over medium-low heat in a large heavy-bottomed soup pot. Add the onion, carrots, and celery and saute until softened, 5 to 6 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the chicken stock and wine and bring to a boil. Add the pasta to the simmering broth and cook for 6 to 8 minutes, until the pasta is tender. Add the fresh dill and then the meatballs to the soup and simmer for 1 minute. Taste for salt and pepper. Stir in the fresh spinach and cook for 1 minute, until the spinach is just wilted. Ladle into soup bowls and sprinkle each serving with extra grated Parmesan.

Answers

So these random questions i want to ask John. To get to know him better. So let the questions begin!

1. What is your favorite time of day.

Afternoon like three o'clock

2. Favorite Food.

Anything Mexican (Like Derek) wink wink

3. If you could have any super powers what would it be?

The power to Fly and Big Muscles.. And a big....well I will not say that one.

4. Favorite artist?

Barbra Streisand

5. Favorite placed traveled?

London, England

6. Favorite placed lived.

Seattle

7. Who would win in a Battle. Unicorn or Narwhal?

With who...With me or each other?.. Okay, Narwhal.. They are just cooler. Unicorns are for Pussies!

*Schnauzer Potty break

8. If you could come back as an Animal, what kind and why?

A Mini Schnauzer in a Gay household cause Gay daddies are the best daddies...you know like Schnauzer daddies

9. Favorite Activity?

Other than staying home, I like going out to eat, museums, scuba driving, spending time with Derek, riding my bike.

10. Favorite Movie?

Contact, Broken Heart's Club, Out of Africa.

11. Most cherished childhood memory?

Swimming in our pool during the summers in San Diego.

12. If you could travel anywhere right now, where would you go?

Palau for scuba driving

13. If you could live the life of somebody else, Who and why?

I can't answer that, I don't want to live anyone elses life.

14. What size shoes do you wear?

10.5

15. Do you repeat?

What is repeat... and I can see that you do, so the answer is no!

16. Can you throw down a beat for me?

"I'm white... I don't have a beat."

17. Do you own anything with a leopard print?

No, I'm not a 50 yrs old Jewish woman from New York or New Jersey.

18. What do you like better- Thunderstorms or Rainbows?

Thunderstorms, Rainbows are for Unicorns!

19. Finish this...."This old man..."

...has a 23 yr. old boyfriend.

20. What is your favorite memory of all time?

When I graduated with my masters degree, and the first time I ever went scuba driving

21. Can you spell ok?

okay

22. Are you lefty or Righty?

Righty, I'm not a spawn of the devil

23. Favorite Quote?

"It matter not how strait the gate, how charged with punishment the scroll, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul."

Sweet dreams

Heaven

"Is just a Schnauzer way..."

Part of my "hood"

As Garbanzo once did about the neighborhood that he lives in, I am doing one on mine.

Just up the road on n 83rd and about 3 blocks away from my house is the Sakya Monastery of Tibetan Buddhism. Sakya Monastery provides access to the Buddha’s teachings and guidance in a community of practitioners. Sakya Monastery is a place to learn from highly qualified and spiritual Tibetan Lamas in a beautiful traditional setting.

Sakya Monastery offers a variety of activities for its members and friends. Foremost are the public meditations: Chenrezi meditations for developing loving-kindness and compassion are held on Sunday morning at 10:00 am and Thursday evenings at 8:00 pm during daylight savings time (spring/summer) and 7:30 pm during standard time (fall/winter). This is the main communal practice of Sakya Monastery. Calm Abiding meditations, which are useful for the development of concentration and mental stability, are held on Friday nights at 7:00 pm. Numerous other ceremonies and meditations are held at the Monastery:

• Buddhist holy days – such as the birth of the Buddha and memorials to special lamas.

• Refuge ceremonies are regularly scheduled for people who wish to formally join the

community of Buddhist practitioners and become a Buddhist.

• Initiation ceremonies are bestowed by Dagchen Rinpoche and other lamas upon request.

These initiations are required as a basis for special meditation practices involving meditational deities such as Chenrezi (the embodiment of compassion) or Green Tara (the grantor of protection).

• Monthly meditations are also held that have specific requirements for attending, such as being a Buddhist, or having received a specific empowerment or level of empowerment.

Additionally, the Monastery offers a variety of other programs and resources:

• The Children’s Dharma School for children ages 5 and up is available on Sundays during

Chenrezi practice.

• The Sakya Monastery library, available to members and visiting scholars, houses 2,500 books

on Buddhism, Tibet, and comparative religion, as well as audiotapes of teachings in Tibetan by noted lamas. The library has a connection with the Tibetan Works & Archives in Dharamsala, India (home of the Tibetan Government-in-Exile).

• The Virupa Educational Institute administers and organizes numerous classes, talks, book groups, discussions, and video showings held at the Monastery. These programs are open to the public and are widely attended.

His Holiness Jigdal Dagchen Sakya was born in 1929 in Sakya, Tibet. He was educated to be the head of the Sakya School of Tibetan Buddhism as well as the successor to the throne of Sakya, the third most important political position in Tibet in earlier times. The Communist Chinese occupation of Tibet, and the peril that ensued, precipitated his departure from the world his family had known for generations, and led him to a new role as a leader in the transmission of Tibetan Buddhism in the West.

If you would like you know more informations about this buddhism temple click here to the website.

I find this to be awesome. I love the building itself. In a beautiful Cannery yellow, prayer wheels out front, the Tibetan Flag out front. Now i have not set foot inside, but have need pictures on the website. I feel that one must experience first hand base. I am not much for religion's and such. But i am really open to going to one of the sessions they have there or even just for mediation to see how i feel. One way or another i feelt it would be enlightening!

GO BEAVERS!!

"I'm a Beaver, Your a Beaver, We're a Beaver all. And when we get together we Do the Beaver Call..... Ara ra ra ra ra ra ra ra rarara ra ra rat. O S U.... Oregon State. Fight Fight Fight!!!

Not gonna get...

World Aids Day.

AIDS have been something in the past years a big part of my life. I have never knew anyone with AID/HIV. In the town that i lived in I bet there was someone there that but it was never "stressed" enough to me. Until i moved to Portland. I met so many men that have contacted AIDS from someone they slept with and did not use protection. As such a young age too. Some rugby team mates had it and I stood by them in their time of need. We walked together in the AIDS walk, went to support groups, hung out together, drank, and grew together. Today is a day where we remember those with AIDS. Ones that have passed and one that are with us. I remember Chris Baker, He was my mentor growing up. He lived in San Francisco and grew up in North Bend. He and I would spend the weekends together after he went to Eugene for his medications. He was the first guy i knew with and when i heard about him passing, it has sadden me and i miss him. I miss the life lessons he gave me and all the wisdom he has passed on to me. I wear Red today in honor of Chris. You are missed!

Finder's Keepers

As a boy growing up, I never had an Action figure that worked. I either had to work to get my own or when my brothers didn't want their, I gladly accepted them. I just wish that they were GI Joe's. GI's are the best. Well i do love a man in uniform for one. You can put them in any form/they bend easily. They have accessories, changing outfits, other buddies and cars. What more could a gay boy as for.

Well as John and I were cleaning out the garage. We came across Gene's childhood G.I. Joe. This one is one of the first G.I's to come out in 1965. I am now too old to have this, but i thought my nephew would like this. His parents are in the Army and christmas is coming up. I don't think he has any action figures. So i know he will enjoy this and also help him understand his parents job! Great Find Today!

Holiday....

Holy Shit Macy's was caught on Fire today in Seattle.

Ok not really. We went to downtown Seattle to Watch the Tree lighting. It was fun, cold, and fun. Lots of people.. Look in the Second photo. Doesn't it look like a scene where the world is coming to an end and everyone is rushing to safety? lol

My life through songs!

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your music library.
2. Put it on shuffle. (use everything whether you like it or not)
3. Press play. (no skipping songs)
4. For every item, type the song and band that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question press the next button.

Of course, there's not supposed to be any cheating - it is kind of funny how some songs end up matching so well and some... not so much. And away we go...

Opening Credits: More Than a Woman-Bee Gees
Lol got that right

Waking Up: Dirty- Christina Aguilera

Oh i guess i am dirty...rawr

Average Day: Still the Same-Bob Seger

I guess i gamble daily...ummm

First Date: Build me up Buttercup- The Foundations..

OMG i love this song. Such a great one.

Love Scene: Physical-Olivia Newton-John

ha ha ha enough said

Fight Scene: Break my Stride-Matthew Wilder

True that!! No one will Break mine! I got to keep on Moving

Breaking Up: Boys-Britney Spears

Umm...unless it's a dancing break up!

Making Up: Could i have this kiss forever-Whitney Houston/Enrique Iglesias

Sadly it's not a good song to make out too.

Secret Love: La Tortura- Shakira

It's a great secret lover song to shake your hips too! Awesome!

Life's Okay: Material Girl- Madonna
Lol "We are living in a Material World and i am a Material Girl!"

Mental Breakdown: Mamma Mia- Abba

Oh my... "look at me now....will i ever learn"

Driving: Dreams-Fleetwood Mac
I love anything by Fleetwood Mac. This is a great driving song for me! I just want to go anywhere.

Deep Thought: Maneater- Hall & Oats
umm.. What is this telling me??

FlashBack: Cover Girl- Rupaul

"Covergirl, put the base in your walk... head to toe, let your whole body talk"

Partying: I wear my glasses at Night-Cory Hart

"Don't switch a blade on a guy in shades...Oh no!!"

Happy Dance: Freedom! '90 George Michael

This is my happy dance when i am running, showering, making dinner. There is something about George Michael that makes me get happy/dirty.

Regretting: The Mating Game-Bitter:Sweet

Yes, the mating game is something to regret at times.

Long Night Alone: Lovegame-Lady Gaga

"I want to take a ride on your DISCO STICK!"

Final Battle: Sanctuary-Utada Hikaru

I love this song. It makes a great battle song. "Angels in Flight"

Death Scene: Careless whisper-Wham

Such a way to go!

Closing Credits: Safety Dance- Men without Hats.

"You can dance if you want too, you can leave your friends behind"

Thanksgiving

I always wanted to do a play like this!

Tradition...

Usually everyone has a Thanksgiving tradition. Whether it is to cooking your turkey as your mother did, gravy from the drippings of the turkey, pumpkin pie made from scratch, going over to some friend's house for dinner, watching football or the Macy's Parade. But the most famous ones are waking up after the day of giving thanks to beat everyone for the "deals." This is one of my stories when i was younger that i decide to go with my mother for the black friday sales.

I was ten, so the year was 1995/96. Wal-Mart just opened in my hometown of North Bend Oregon. Thanksgiving at my house came to a close and all my family members all but my mother, grandma, aunt, father and me were up. Everyone else in a deep slumber from the turkey spells and fullness of sweets or beer. They were up talking about "black friday." I have never heard of such a day, was this a bad day? Were we not able to go outside? My mother talked with my grandma on the game plan for tomorrow. They would stay up all night and leave the house by 3:30 am to wait in line with the other town folks.

My mother's plan was to drink until it was time to go. I asked my mother if i could stay up and go with grandma and her to this ritual in my family. She gladly told me yes as she took a drink of her Tequila and Squirt. As the hours passed my grandma went to sleep for a while as my mother and I watched TV, ate more turkey, played some game, and cleaned house. I remember passing out for a while, only to be shaken up by grandma to get ready for the trip.

As I dressed warmly as my mother told me it was going to be cold at 4am and to bring some food as no places would be open at this time. We soon arrive to Wal-Mart, the mecca of Bargain Shopping. About 75 people were crowded around the front door waiting to get in. Some people camped out over night. Some brought chairs and blanket from home. Food, drinks, people peeing on the side of the store or by their cars. I remember mostly is my mother brought her flask filled with her drink of choice. "This will get me through this", I remember her saying to me. Soon from 75 people to about four or five hundred people were all behind us. I still can feel people pushing us or trying to cut in front of us. I asked my mother what time it was. She looked at her watch and told me it was five minutes til five am. We saw the employee walking up to the front doors getting ready to unlock them.

The sound of the doors opening and a gush of wind hit us. Everyone pushing, pulling, yelling, trying to pass one another was getting nowhere. Luckily for me my mother was a big lady. All she had to do was push and she could knock over a few people. My mother took my hand and told me know to not let go, "this is where people will go crazy!" We hit the floor of Wal-Mart running. Grandma got a cart, while mom and i booked it for the toy section. Other people had their kids on their shoulders reaching for toys on the higher shelves. My mother reached for one of the last toys, but soon bumped hands with another lady who wants the same toy. The both struggled to get the toy out of each others hands.

Until my mother threaten the other lady. "I will beat the shit out of you if you do not give me this toy", my mother told this lady. She released it and backed away. My mother took another chug from her flask and off we went. The lines were the worst. Everyone wanted to get out and no one wanted to wait in line. I remember pulling pop tarts, fruits, and some juice out of my pockets and eating them over all the things we got that morning. I was so tired from the rush of the ahopping spree. I did not want to go to another black friday ever. I disliked this day. I thought people who did this were crazy. Plus being a ten year boy and going with your mother three sheets to the wind was fun but not for me. I will say this, that year i got all the things i wanted!

Happy Holiday!

Thankful..

As this holiday Season is coming closer and closer. There are many things i am Thankful for, which i will list now.

First of all, life. To be able to live this far without dying. Second, Family, My real and extend family. Without them and all the love and support i have from them, i would never have got this far or turned out the way i am. Big thanx to Emmy and Garbanzo for letting me into their lives, opening up their home to me and allowing me to grow and feel so loved and welcomed. I miss you both lots! Third My hubby. As each day we grow closer and closer. Our feeling grow stronger, our love grows, each moment spent together gets better and better. I love you Papi. Fourth Friends. All my friends you mean so much to me. Each day i look forward to either hear from you, reading your blogs, emails, facebooks, or phone calls. You mean the world to me. And i love you all! Fifth reading. I am beyond blessed with. Without being able to read, i could on type this blog out, make yum food from the Food Network, drive, watch tv, or do almost about anything! Thank you public school and High school for that one.

So enclosing I would like to Wish you and your Family a Wonderful and Happy Holiday. Please do not burn your houses down or let any family member get you down, If they do, let me know. I got your back!!

Princessa!

I lost my feelings.....

Last night was the Season Final of Project Runway. I love this show. As seen in the picture is Althea Harper, Irina Shabayeva, and Carol Hannah. I was rooting for Carol Hannah. Her looks were wonderful and lots of color, unlike the other ladies. He style was strong and fab. Her concept to her collection was fairy tale style. Dresses, color, lots of draping. While Althea brought the style of the Future. Her collection was mostly from 60's Sci-Fi movies. Lots of hoods, pants, some dresses. Finally Irina's collection was about women in New York in suits of Armor. Black, black, and more black. Some hats with chains, handbags, and ponytails. I really wish that either Carol Hannah or Althea would of won. But i am sadded by that Irina was named winner of Project Runway.

Maybe i should try out for it... I can sew... and i am friendly! wuhahahaha

Ode

To Glee!!

Enjoy

Food Network.....

I just want to say, i love watching the food network. I also hate watching it. I love watching for getting new recipes and cooking things i would never do. I hate watching due to i want to cook everything they make. I dislike Rachel Ray. She is too bubbly. I enjoy watching the barefoot Contessa(Ina Garten). She just has something about her that makes me want to watch her. Something that makes me want to cook. I wonder if it is because she is older and does not make everything "huge" and makes it easy. I really enjoy that about her show.

Today i make Italian wedding soup with meatballs. I sauteed veggies(celery, carrots, onions) in olive oil, added chicken stock, a orzo pasta, than added the meatballs(turkey meat, green onions, garlic, parmesan cheese, bread crumbs, egg, milk, salt pepper) and topped if off with Spinach. It was so delicious. And to think i got it off of the food network.

So in closing... Food network.. i love and hate you!

Mash up

Hey blogger amigos!

What to star in a video.. well what i want to do is make a mash up of everyone doing the song Girls just wanna have fun by Cyndi Lauper. What you need to do....

Make a video of yourself lip syncing to the song, send it to my email, than just wait til i post it to the blog. It's that easy.

Princessa

Unforgettable....

There are many things in this world that we do not want to forget. Dates, memories, and people. People are the ones most we think about. Living or not. Most of the time when we think about the ones we have lost, it hurts or sometimes you feel lost and do not know where to turn to. I have lost many people in my life. My grandfather, aunt, cousins, and uncle. But i have not yet known was it is like to lost a husband/partner. Someone so close to you. The one that makes you get up in the morning and sleep in the same bed. The one that you will do anything from, even if that means t's something you do not like.

While cleaning the house today, I came across a wooden box of the floor. At first I did not want to open it not knowing if there was something dangerous or not in there. But something told me to open it. I lifted up the lid and found a picture of John's last partner Gene. I stared at the picture, studying the face, clothes he wore, smile, eyes. Behind the pictures were a bunch of cards. Cards from when Gene got sick/was in the hospital, and when Gene passed away. Also were the rings John and Gene wore when they were together. I started to cry. I felt very emotional. I wanted someone to hug, to cry with. I wanted to met Gene. I know that is not possible now. But i can only know Gene by the stories and pictures John has of him. I want to know what Gene was like, what he liked to do, what was is take on life, what did he support and what did he despise. What was his favorite place in the world or time of day?

I will never get to know Gene, but his story lives on through John and everyone who knew him. What i do know is this. Now i can not take credit for writing this next part. But this will give you an Idea of who Gene was.

He was born February 1, 1956, in Eugene, Oregon, to the late Edward and Mary Uttinger.

He attended St. Peter Catholic School and graduated from Marist Catholic High School in 1974. In 1977, Gene started work at Pacific Northwest Bell. Soon he moved to Seattle to continue his career. In 1982, he met and fell in love with Martin Brandt. They spent eleven years together, including the purchase of their first home and many wonderful trips and celebrations with family and friends. They were well known in Seattle's gay community. Gene and Marty remained together until Marty's death in 1993. Gene progressed in his career as he rose through the ranks of management at the phone company, maintaining his commitment to customers through upheavals in the industry. He worked in consumer, small and large business groups, agent marketing, as well as on 911 and county government accounts. Gene was well known for his knowledge about the Centrex product. At the time of his death, Gene was working as a program manager on loan to the Washington State President for Qwest Communications. During his 30 years of service to the phone company he made hundreds of friends who admired his gentle but honest personality, his well reasoned manner, his attention to detail, and his commitment to customer service and employee morale. Gene is survived by his domestic partner of 14 years, John Carroll. They met in 1993 through John's work at the Seattle Men's Chorus and their joint attendance at Dignity Roman Catholic Mass. They were together for 14 years until Gene's sudden death - a sign of Gene's unwavering commitment to love, family and friends. Together they lived in the Queen Anne, Ames Lake, and Magnolia neighborhoods. Over the years, they adopted and loved four cats and three Miniature Schnauzers. Gene was also well known among friends and family for his love of gardening and travel. Gene and John shared trips across the U.S., throughout Europe and recently several cruises through the Caribbean, Mexico, Central America and Alaska. 

These are the rings Gene and John wore everyday while together. I know that Gene will be apart of my life now. And deep down inside we i really wish i had a chance to meet him. I often think about where i would of met him and the conversions we could of had. You are miss dearest Gene.

 Princessa.  

how I met papi.

I met John about 14 month ago, over the Internet on a site called gay.com. He was in the portland chat room and i was looking for someone to date. We talked over about a year before we really met. I had rugby games in Seattle and asked him many times if he wants to come watch me play. He was going to come to one in Bremerton but something came up. So we waited and it was almost the end of summer right before everyone goes back to school, unless you are a college student. John called me and told me he was going to visit his parent, but really want to meet me. We arranged a time and meeting place. So i always met someone i do not know in a public place, that way i don't get hurt or killed. Anyways, we met at Pioneer Courthouse Square in Portland. As soon as i saw him in person i knew that i want to do many things with him. We were both hungry and John loves mexican food, so we went to Mayas Tacqueria for dinner. After dinner and talking with each other, we began to walk around the Pearl District and came to the Jamison Square. There we sat, watchin the children play in the fountain. We sat next to eachother really close. I kept looking into his green eyes, smiling, handsome, sexy. I wanted to do many things to him, but i knew that i had to be good. John turned to me and asked, "Is this the part where i kiss you?" My eyes lit up and i closed my eyes and leaned in. When our lips met, heaven, my body melted, i felt wonderful(i still get that way) There was something about John that i knew was different. As we were kissing, i felt like we were being watched. We pulled away and i turned to see one of my parents from school waving me down yelling, "I thought that was over there!!" i quickly jumped up and told here that this was john and we are on a date. Thank god her son was in the fountain playing. After that john took me home where i made out with him in his car. I asked him what he was doing tomorrow. He was going back to Seattle. "Would you like to get together and do breakfast", is what i asked him. "I'll pick you up" We had breakfast, made out a bit before taking me home, and that is when i know i liked john. But it was about our 5 date in Seattle is when i fell in love with him and wanted to make things work with him.

That is my story of John and I meeting...

One week...

As i sit here with a beer to my side. I wonder why i do not like being alone. John is off on a trip to Atlanta for work, so that lets me and the schnauzer babies in the house. Being alone to me symbolizes that i am Afraid, worrisome, secluded, solitary, lonely, sad, helpless and a bit of depression. I could never be alone when i was younger. I would get scared even at the age of 15. What if someone would to come in the night and kill me. What would happen to the babies, what would john do, how would i react. I guess i need to let go of my childhood fear. I get this from when i was younger. My brother and sister all wanted to play hide n seek one night our parents went of out town. and we just got a new fridge. It was not plugged in, just sitting in the kitchen awaiting for my parents to transfer the food. My oldest brother being 15 at the time was old enough to watch the other four siblings. We all ran off to hide as my older brother was a seeker. I ran into the back room of our house, but i stopped into the kitchen and saw the new fridge in all it's glory and thought that would be a great hiding spot for me. I climbed into it and waited. I waited...and waited... and waited...and waited... about thirty minutes passed. No one came... I was worried.. I tried to push the fridge door open.. The suction to the door. I scream...no one came... I punched the door to make noise... No one hear me. About another thirty minutes pass... and finally my oldest brother, opens the door and see's me crying, hurt, full of sorrow, broken, depressed. He asked me what was wrong. I told him to never leave me alone again...

After that experience, i can never be alone again. I can't live again, I now am in a house that has not even been a week yet. I can not stand it. I need some Human Interaction! I run to i want to go have dinner with someone, laugh with someone, dance, talk...

Is anyone out there?

John Hurry Home.....

Already...

IT has not even been a week yet. John is off to Atlanta for a Teacher Conf. He leaves tomorrow morning and will not be back til Sunday afternoon. I know that he has not left yet but yet i know that i already will miss him. So far my life in Seattle has been wonderful. I will not be working until January. After our trip to Australia. I have been busy. I have clean the house, taking care of the dogs, making dinner and dessert. i have been running each day. I ran 8 miles a day. I am walking around the the neighborhood to get a feel where everything is. I love after cleaning the house and running is that i get to take a nap and cuddle with the babies to the Golden Girls. They are the best. The best thing i love about being in Seattle is that i get to sleep in the same bed as John. No other feeling is better than that! Over all i am finding my place here in Seattle!

I miss you friends and family in portland!!

Princessa!