A Dream is...

"A Wish your heart makes...."

When your fast asleep. What a bunch of shit! Disney has for the past years of my life filled my thoughts and mind with shit! Reaching for your dreams, They tell you to reach, but never how much work you need to go through. How much one must sacrifice things and wants to make their dreams come true. But what also Disney forgets to mention is that dreams don't come true for some.

Things in my life have not always been "Disney perfect" to many of the movies disney produces. The last "princess" movie that came out...(Princess and the Frog) was better than the other ones. She wasn't a princess, but worked hard for what she wanted. Until she was turned into a frog, But the outcome was she was happen and became a princess. That last part is crap, but still it taught me that people work hard for what they want.

I talked with a close friend and ask if I could sue Disney for false hope in hoping my dreams come true....I could own Euro Disney and Disneyland! Wuahahahaha how about that for dreams coming true!

Purple...

"Purple is royalty. A mysterious color, purple is associated with both nobility and spirituality. The opposites of hot red and cool blue combine to create this intriguing color."

Purple is a color that is all around us. In Sunrises, sunsets, clothes, flowers, food, songs and many other things. But day, I wear purple in honor of all those in the LGBT community who have lost their lives to being harassed and bullied. And the only way out was to take their own life.

I have been bullied before and know what it is like to feel that way. Having some of your closest friends shout "Faggot, queer, homo" and other words of hurt. People not understanding that I too am a person like them with feelings. I didn't understand at first why people in my hometown were so closed minded about my sexuality.

There were many times I would come home from school and attempted to harm myself. I still have the scars from them. It wasn't until I met a man from California, his name Chris Barker. He was from my hometown. Openly gay, took many trips to home and was my mentor. He was older. I was 16 and coming out than. He played a huge part in my life. I met him in secret at first, until I came out and told my mother I was hanging out with a 40+ year old man from California.

Chris taught me it was wonderful to be gay. There are other like me, who have came out and been fighting for gay rights. He taught me many of my queer life lessons like don't put out on the first date, how to sound smart at my young age, what is in fashion/ how to dress, and my top favorite how to throw a dinner party.

Without Chris I think my life would have ended early, but I thank him everyday of my life and am glad I am still going strong.

I encourage you all to wear some purple today. Not only for me, but the others that can see hope and the light!

Princessa

Legs

I am thankful to have legs. They help me through my day and mostly at work. I use my legs for everything. Running, dancing, biking, and many other activities. I am grateful to have strong, sexy legs. They are one of my best features I have. Do you agree?

Happy Birthday..

Happy Birthday Papi Suds!

Puerto Rican, a teacher, gaga lover, blogger, movie lover, uncle, and a great friend. Today is his birthday. Go to his blog and send him some love. Tell him Derek sent you!

My coming out Story

Today is National coming out day. I came out at an early time of my life. It wasn't a good part of my life either. My family was going through a bad break up between parents. My father dislike me and my mother was too busy to working to keep our family afloat. Fast forward one year. It's 2002 and I am a sophomore in high school. It's also mother's day. I am a working young adult that was about to go to work before I tell my mother how much I love here. I walk into her room excited, for this day I was going to tell her what has been eating at the core of me for a while.

I walk to the bedroom of her room. I knock on the door and open to see my mother sitting on her bed waiting for me. I take a huge breath and approach her. In my hand was a gift for this day. I start off with "Mom, today is a really special day for us today. I want to tell you something that has been eating at me for a while. but first here is your gift.................And......ummm....... I LOVE THE COCK!!" Before she could respond to me, I left the room and went to work.

I was so scared. I didn't know what she would think. What if she told my family. Want was going to happen to me. Were they going to disown me or send me away. I am blessed to have such a supportive family. When I came out my mother told me it was a "phase" I'm going through. Well it's been 8 years and I am never going back! It has made me who I am today! And without all the support from friends and family, I don't think I could have made it!

That's my coming out story.....What's yours if you have one?

Home is where the heart is.

A saying that many have said to me. But what if you have left your heart somewhere and you are at a different spot?

(photo from studentsoftheworld.com)

Like Portland, Oregon. My heart is there. With me living in Seattle in my home with my partner and babies. How can my heart be there?

This weekend I was in Portland, OR to play rugby with some past teammates and close friends. It was a blast to see everyone and catch up on what is everyone doing. We hugged and kissed eachother. Made jokes and giggled. It was just like old times. We split the teams up and had a blast screaming , dropping f-bombs, touching and manly grunting. The stuff I miss. Not only touch other guys but the friendships. The people I bonded with for three years. The people I knew that was the closest to brothers I could have. That taught me how to drink beer, sing rugby songs, hit/tackle hard, and to have fun. It was like a frat but only better. It was a gay frat that kept up on the most important matters. "Did you watch america's next top model? Or "Did you see Project Runway yesterday night? Blah Blah Blah is a bitch on that show!" How I also missed oh "she thinks that is all that but she's gonna get checked!"

The thing I am getting at is that we were a family. A family that stood together and was happy. We brought much joy to each other. Whether they be gay, straight, bi, or lesbian. We played together and were a family together.

I miss Rugby and Portland.......