Disorders.....

So i had a few disorders when i was younger. Like i could not eat food in front of others. When i would go out with my family. I would ask to get my food to go. While my family consumed their food i sat there waiting for the meal to be over and thinking how good it would be to be at home in my room eating. I always never liked eating in front of people i didn't know. I finally learned how to cope with this disorder of mine. I was never Anorexic i just liked eating by myself. I have coped with way like I cover my mouth when i eat anything in front of people, Eat when no one is around, if i have to eat in front of people i wait til no one is looking at me cover my mouth and take a bit. I guess the fear of being judged on what i was eating when i was younger really hit me hard. I hated when people would ask me what i was eating and than comment on what i told them i was eating.

Thus now i really don't eat in front of people. Even at work, I don't eat with my kids. I don't even ask the one who brought a lunch from home what they are eating. I don't want to push any of my disorders onto them.

The second disorder i have is that i have to keep my teeth brushed/clean at all times. I keep a tooth brush with me at all times. I brush my teeth about 20 plus times a day. There is just the feeling that even if i feel that my mouth is dirty i have to go brush and make sure if feel cleans. I do get a healthy smile and clean mouth from this but it always feels like my mouth is dirty.

Third is my hands. I have to constantly wash my hands and lotion them. I hate when my hands feel like they are dirty. I'm not a Spermatophobia or Spermophobia. i just don't like dirty hands i must lotion my hands after i touch something.


What a crazy like i live at times!

Derek