First we need to define the word hope.
hope
noun, verb, hoped, hop·ing.–noun
1.
the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best: to give up hope.
2.
a particular instance of this feeling: the hope of winning.
3.
grounds for this feeling in a particular instance: There islittle or no hope of his recovery.
4.
a person or thing in which expectations are centered: Themedicine was her last hope.
5.
something that is hoped for: Her forgiveness is my constant hope.
I am using it as 1. is doing so. A feeling... what makes this feeling. When it feels like everything is turning against you. Where does one turn too? Friends, family, support groups? A partner. One thing I have learned about myself is that i like to run away from my problems. Whether it be exchanging words with a friend or partner. A bill that i can't pay or some other major. I have in the past ran away. I ran away from family before, partners, bills, and now myself. What makes one do such things. Being ashamed..full of emotions, not knowing how to get out. Sometimes i believe that my hope is over. I believe that someways that if i disappeared that my life would be better. I could start a fresh life and no one would know me. I thought this method would work for me. Until I met a partner who supports me.
Tonight life hit him and all i could do was yell at him. I was not supportive as he is to me. I did not understand why he was so emotional. What was going on in his life. What could of upset him. I instead turned on him. Making him feel worst, closing himself from me. I felt like I have let him down. All the support he has given me I turned myself into a Jackass. I promise from here on out, that I will try to be supportive in my partner. Only in a calm and respective way. No more turning in around on him. I will listen to him and be there for him.
No more running away!
