Life goes on...

I've come along way from my previous life. I have moved on and still am living my life the way I should be. Free and full of life!

Below are of some of the last ballroom comp i did with students! Enjoy!

Living in the Moment..

This picture explains my life right now. It's hectic, full of emotions and change. My life has changed over a day. I got some news about my health. I am now HIV Positive. That's a huge thing for me to say-type out. It's a major... Something that I could pass on to someone and yet it's manageable. The shock of hearing I was positive was upsetting. I broke down and cried. I have felt like I wanted to give up. Feeling like dying was the best solution. I have talked with many friends that are HIV poz and it hasn't stopped them from living a normal life. My life expectancy will go down by a year or two. But i know I am going to live forever. So now I am at the stage of my life where I don't know where to go. I am scared and unsure of what's going to happen next. Please keep me in your thoughts and hearts!

It's going to be a bumpy ride.

Derek

I'm alive

Just so you know. I'm in a rough patch in my life but getting things where they need to be!

I'm

Going camping for the weekend.

Later!

Bar dates...

"
There has been something that has been on my mind...Bar Dates...

"Bar Dates are for ASSHOLES!!" Yes I said it. When people go on a date to a bar they have one of two things.... low-self-esstem or can't find a real restaurant! I find that FUCKING dumb! Who the Fuck really goes on a date to a bar... The first date NO! The third maybe.... But not the first. But to take someone on a date to a bar is tacky! VERY VERY VERY TACKY!

"What are you doing tonight? What go on a date?

Sure. Where?

Let's go to the bar for our date!"

Why would anyone go to a bar on the first date besides that they might be an alcoholic or that their date might get boring so they can pick up another person there. It ridiculous and childish! I don't fucking care what you say.. It is what it is!

Working hard for.....

Nothing.... It seems that way in life for many people. Why do we work so hard for really nothing. The saying goes "Hard work never killed anybody." Well it has me. Why am I working so hard. I can barely keep myself afloat. I put in so much time with work and get paid for very little. My boss pushes me to work harder and yet it seems like my paychecks are the same. I hate not getting more money when I work so fucking hard for it. Why can't some one rich just give me some money for I can be set for a while. I really want to switch jobs. Don't get me wrong, I love my job but it takes so much out of me. Physically and emotionally. Physically I'm on my feet and using my body to teach my students to express themselves. Teaching late night or sometimes early in the mornings.

Emotionally.... It takes so much. Pouring my heart and soul teaching for so much. Teaching the characters of the dance. Being passionate, driving myself to teach more, transferring my emotions and energy to my students. It harder than your think. If some of my students can't feel that it's harder for me. I love dance, I am passionate about it. When I dance I am a different person. I am filled with my emotions but at the end of the dance a part of me is gone... Maybe it's time for a change....

Do you agree?

Sexual Freedom

Since my last relationship... I have taken this time to express myself sexually in ways that I haven't be able to before. I have experienced a new thing that I might become more into.

"****BDSM**** is a continuum of erotic practice and expression involving the consensual use of restraint, intense sensory stimulation, and fantasy power role-play. The compound acronym, BDSM, is derived from the terms bondage and discipline (B&D or B/D),dominance and submission (D&S or D/s), and sadism and masochism (S&M or S/M). BDSM includes a wide spectrum of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures."

Thank you wikipedia for that.... Well I have started to "see" a gentleman that is into leather. Now never being exposed to leather play before I was very curious, like how curious George is always getting into trouble. It started with this website called daddyhunt. This is a website where younger guys for for older men. I was searching around when i got a message from this gentleman asking me what i was into. I told him I'm 25 latino into safe this but open to trying something new. He than asked if i was into leather... I told him that i have never tried it but was willing to do so. He invited me to his house and off i went. When i arrived there he was... this hot silver-daddy of a Race Bannon/ Anderson Cooper look alike. I was drawn to him instantly. He hugged and he invited me into his house. we had a bit of chit chat and off we went to his play room. In his playroom was leather bonding straps, leather outfits, the works. I was so interested in how out night was going to play out. He told me to strip down and sit outside the door and to wait in my undies. I obeyed as I was told. what seemed to be about 15 minutes, out comes my leather daddy. dressed from head to toe in his leather gear. I have never seen anything like this. I was so turned on by this. "Are you ready boy? You ready to please your sir?" I just shook my head up and down with my eyes opened wide. He took my by the hand and lead me into the playroom. There was a black leather chair... he told me to get on my knee infront of him while he sat in his leather chair. I sat there eagerly awaiting his orders. He reached into a draw and pulled out a cigar. He told me that dad like to enjoy a cigar while his boy worship his dad in leather.

He lit up his cigar and told me to start to worship his leather gear. The smell of his leather combined with the cigar smoke was empowering to me. I felt like a man. I felt that I was safe. Like nothing could do any harm to me. It was a rush. The feel of the smooth leather against my smooth silky skin drove me nuts. I looked up as my sir took a puff from his cigar and blow it into my face. The smoke in my face sent chills all over my body. I knew at that moment there I was free to enjoy new things. I craved for my sir to be please. I begged him in what I could do for him. He stood up and snapped off this leather jock piece exposing himself infront of me. Him in all this glory. He told me "Open your mouth boy." I did so. He placed his cigar in my mouth and told me to hold it there. He undressed down to his boots......