Lookin about into the Past

Normally i always look ahead of my life, But recently I've been looking back on. Past relationships, work, family, time, schooling, fun, love.

It kind bothers me to keep things about this and how much my life would be if i didn't quit that job or didn't break up with that guy or what if i never moved. Here are the out comes I've been thinking about.

Moving from home.

What if i never moved from home. Well I would of been dead or kept my job at the mill casino and hate every moment i was there. Still living with my mother and my dead beat brother and my mothers boyfriend. That does not sound glam. And to top with off, I would be either a druggie or drink too much. Plus all my friend that are there would be dying or something like that. And i would be dating some of the closet people of that town and become the whore of North Bend/Coos Bay.


Fred
When i first moved to Portland i dated this Latino man named Fred. In this case Fred was a sexual addict and was going to SA. I did truly love him but he was too self concern about himself. The things i did like about him was he was very supportive and did care about me and did go to church. If i stayed with him i would of either have been still in the place where we were living or in Arizona. I would not be happy and perhaps be dead.

Arthur Murray.
When i first came to portland i was working at a dance studio trying to make a s**tload of money by dancing. The people i worked for trainned me well and all. But one of my co workers was out to get me. Really she was. She did not like me or the way i was. She always was telling me to be someelse. Telling my students to give us more money and stuff like that. She was two faced, heartless, greedy, A BITCH. Shannon W***s. Well she got me fired for something everyone including herself did. So with this she can go fuck herself. I do miss dancing and all. But I'm better off. If i was still there, i would have to still pretend to be fake to her and deeply dying inside to her and her horrible personality. WHAT A BITCH SHE IS!!!!

Rik

Now with rik I've spend two years of my life with him. I do still care for him and do see him. But some of the things i wanted to do, he never wanted to do. And i just turned 21 when i was with him. And all my friends are young, wanted me to drink. I did like stayin at home and cuddling with him and was happy when he did come out and his personality. If i stayed with him, I would still be in downtown with him, kinda sad that he won't want to go out, and having my mother stay with us when she would visit. And hopefully he won't die yet.

Mark

Mark is a man that i miss but for the best part of my life I'm glad he's gone. Mark was a very handsome, tall, white guy that i fell in love with. I wanted to spend my life with him and share what i could with him. Well it turned out that he wasn't ready for what i had to offer. Well if i stayed with mark, I would be getting up set with the whole no sex part of my life with him and still questioning if he loves me.

So in closing, My life is better off where it is at. Thank god for some of these times in my life. They have made me who i am today.

Peace,

Princessa lil Mexico